Taking responsibility for yourself and every outcome of your life is where your leadership starts.
What motivates us?
Different things motivate different people. In this article, we will be looking at what can motivate us as individuals. Let’s start by examining the priorities of different stages of life which can influence each of us greatly.
- Hope
Life begins when you are born and being born means leaving the comfort of the walls of the womb to the realities of a hospital room. Unfortunately, there is very little that we can do about to whom and where we are born. You are helpless as a baby and you need all the help you can get. Food, clothes, warmth, love, you name it and the responsibility of providing all this falls on the parents. The babies are loved unconditionally because they ought to be but as they grow older, love begins to have a clause. Love begins to come with expectation. While the parents do what they do because it is their responsibility, there is also a small part of them that does it to see the child become responsible, be what they want him to be. The child on the other hand, at a stage realizes that he needs his parents and for a period cannot do without them. he acts right to stay in their favour to get what he thinks he needs or wants.
- Exploration
A child’s priorities are little but significant and they are learning and exploration. The child does things and tests out the consequences; good and bad. It becomes the responsibility of the child to figure out what pleases his mum and dad and stick to them. The natural instincts slowly start to become modified to fit the acceptable parameters. The desire to please, to become accepted by others, by modifying instinctive behavior becomes set down in early life and dominates motivation for some time to come.
- Uncertainty
On becoming teenagers, there is a huge change physically and emotionally and an increasing need to feel independent and a desire to find an identity. The need for acceptance becomes more about acceptance by peers and friends, rather than parents. Yet there is a tension between acceptance by the group on the one hand and finding a separate identity on the other. It is striking what teenagers choose to wear and what music they listen to, there is some individuality in taste, but also a great deal of conformity.
- Establishment
After people are done with their formal education, the 20’s and 30’s, they are mostly motivated by the need to get established; have a life of their own. This stage is characterized by moving out of parent’s house where it is affordable, getting a job, securing a partner, getting married and having kids. Generally, becoming and having a family of your own while working hard at your job to get promoted and going back to school to get more degrees or taking more courses to make you eligible for more jobs. At this point, you’re bothered more about being accepted by colleagues, bosses and new neighbours rather than friends and everything you do is to make sure that that acceptance is there.
- Broadening
The next stage is when all these initial goals and needs have been fulfilled – the career, the house, the spouse, the kids – all acquired. At some point in mid-life, there may be a change in outlook, perhaps triggered by a significant birthday, a questioning about the job or career, a relationship breakdown or redundancy for example. All of these could trigger deep reflection, a broadening of outlook and a desire for more meaning or maybe a new direction. It is what is often described as a “mid-life crisis”, although it does not need to be a crisis or a single event.
- Reflection
The next life stage is older age, probably linked to retirement. The priorities of life may change again and usually work plays less of a part, a new purpose and meaning may be needed.
Our motivations and priorities change as we go through different life stages, but the one constant thing is change and an impetus for personal development. Two key things remain constant, the need to relate to others and the desire for meaning and individuation.
Conclusively, at every stage of a person’s life, there is a motivating factor that underlines why he does what he does. As we grow older, our motivating factor changes as our values and needs changes. In all, make sure that what motivates you is a selfless attitude towards life. While your needs are important, learn to put the needs of others before. It is such a satisfying way to live. Not only will other people appreciate you, you feel fulfilled at every stage of your life. A life ruled by selfishness is never an enjoyable. Let the smile on someone else’s face motivate you always
